We all have a list. Here’s mine:
1. Slow drivers in the fast lane. Yes, I know they are probably just driving the speed limit but, in the name of all that is good and decent, move over and let us pass. If you haven’t looked in your rear view mirror lately there is a long line of angry drivers waiting for you to put on your right blinker and turn the steering wheel out of the fast lane. And, if you’re a believer driving slow in the fast lane, scrape all your Christian bumper stickers off your bumper and back window. All the unbelievers who drive behind you may never go to church because of you and your theology will be held in utter contempt by the unregenerate on account of your decision to stay in the fast lane. Okay, I’m probably overstating it but please…scoot over.
2. Fleece. Yup. It’s true. I don’t like fleece. We had these red fleece vests at Dare 2 Share several years ago that we gave away as incentives to youth leaders and they drove me crazy. There’s something about the feel of fleece that makes me imagine scraping my teeth across a chalkboard or chewing on aluminum foil. Yes, I’m weird. But keep your fleece away from me…especially those red Dare 2 Share fleece vests!
3. Christians who have lost their urgency for evangelism. This really drives me crazy. Some people just don’t see the need. Others are theologically predisposed against evangelism. Whatever the reason it drives me nuts when I talk to a believer in Jesus who just look at me with dead eyes when I talk with them about sharing the gospel with others. I want to shake them and wake them to the urgency of the task at hand.
4. Spiders and Clowns. I put them in the same category because they are equally distasteful to me. I’ll squash either if they come crawling (or juggling) up to me. If you’re in some sort of clown ministry then I’m sorry. My goal is not to offend you but to beg you to reconsider. And, yes, I know that God made spiders but Satan must have given them fangs. I’m sure before the Fall they were more like pets than pests. So killing them is like taking a swipe at sin as far as I’m concerned.
5. Skinny jeans. Why do they drive me crazy? Because I can’t wear them! I tried once and couldn’t even get them past my calf. If you’re a dude and wear skinny jeans that’s fine. But I don’t like them personally. I have to look for words like “relaxed fit” or “wide load” when I go shopping for jeans.
Okay so this is my list of things that drive me crazy and for some of you who don’t get the fact that I’m joking about a few of these I’m sorry…except for the clown ministry people. Please reconsider 😉
So what drives you crazy?