Estes Park, Dora and the Antichrist

Greg Stier
Greg Stier
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Whew!

The torrent of the second half of the Game Day conference tour has begun. The last few weekends have been back to back conferences:  Columbus and St. Louis then off to the Group Youth Worker’s Conference in Indy. It all starts over again next weekend in Lincoln then on to Phoenix. And then it gets really busy! (How does Ron Luce do 36 events? He is the ironman of the conference circuit! You go Ron!)

This is my last “free” weekend for awhile so I decided to get away with my family up to Estes Park. Hopefully we will be able to go tubing (Jeremy’s favorite), do a little shopping (my wife’s favorite) and watch an episode or two of Dora the Explorer (Kailey’s favorite.)

By the way what’s the deal with Dora? She hangs out with a talking monkey named “Boots” who wears boots (how convenient!) Dora and her “innocent” little crew of misfits are constantly on a “journey” somewhere looking for something. Hmmmm. There is a talking map and a clepto fox who is cleverly named “Swiper.” Not to mention the grumply old troll and the mariachi band of reptiles who show up anywhere at anytime and play a tune for no apparent reason. Or maybe there is a method to their madness, their dark madness.

Whenever one of the catchy songs play (“I’m the Map” or “We did it” or a reptilian instrumental mariachi type tune) my little girl starts dancing and singing along. Yeah, yeah, it’s cute. But is it a cult?

Something is amiss in Disneyland or Nicelodianville or Sesame street or wherever.

Is the antichrist going to take control of the world and unite it under his control by unleashing the unholy trinity (Dora, Boots and Swiper) to lead the minds of our children to the a,b,c’s of evil? Is the grumpy old troll the beast mentioned in Revelation? Is “the map” the devil’s guide to uniting a new world order under the control of the antichrist?

Why is Dora obsessed with exploring anyway? Could it be that she is scouting out the entire globe plotting the overthrow of humanity as we know it? Could it be that she is raising up a generation of toddlers and small children who will do her bidding without question? I can hear the chants already, “Dora! Dora! Dora!” as she hands out talking backpacks filled with candy, toys and Evil 101 Coloring Books to millions upon millions of adoring children. Maybe her little bilingual focus is a ploy to unite North and South America under one totalitarian regime. Uno governmento for El Diablo.

Or maybe I’m just loco. Maybe it’s just a show. Maybe Dora is fine. Maybe I really need to rest this weekend.

Sorry if I offended any Dora fans with my musings. I’m tired. Dog tired. On the positive side, as obnoxious as this article is, we both made it through it. I wrote it and you read it.  It’s enough to make me want to sing, “We did it! We did it! Oh yeah we did it!”

Uh oh.

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