There are a lot of angry Christians out there, especially on social media. Often, their arguments target fellow believers, or anyone they differ with politically or theologically. And these arguments are on display for the watching world to see.
It makes me wonder how our online demeanor affects the world’s view of Christians. Maybe they see us as that yelling family who lives on your block and that all the neighbors can hear fighting at night.
Sadly, mean-spirited mockery of fellow believers (that sometimes comes out as sarcasm) dampens our witness and pushes against Christ’s high-priestly prayer in John 17:23:
‘I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.’
Of course, we can disagree with each other, even vehemently at times. But we must do so with grace and love.
Take a look at how the fiery and not-afraid-to-confront-heretics apostle Paul recommended dealing with those he differed with theologically. He passed this plan on to his protégé Timothy, in his final letter before being executed. He wrote:
Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will. 2 Timothy 2:23-26
I believe that Paul developed this approach over decades of ministry, increasingly moving toward it the older he got.
In these verses, we clearly see five rules of engaging opponents publicly. Paul passed these rules down to Timothy, and through what he wrote, the Spirit of God is passing them on to us.
May we apply these five rules to every social media post!
1. Avoid engaging in stupid arguments.
Refuse let yourself be baited into a useless argument that sends you down a rabbit hole of wasted words and clueless quarrels. Sometimes it’s better to just not respond.
2. Be kind to everyone.
Forgo sarcastic or mean-spirited comments. Be loving, humble, and kind with your words, not snide or angry. When a great zinger comes to mind, practice restraint, and refrain from posting it.
3. Refuse to be resentful.
Do not allow bitterness or resentment toward your opponent to fester in your heart or taint your online response to them.
4. Gently teach what the Word says.
Soak your posts in the Word of God, not human wisdom. Lovingly lay out what the Scripture clearly states.
5. Genuinely hope (and pray) that your opponent repents.
As the saying goes: “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” Make it your goal to win people’s hearts versus win the argument.
Practical Posting Tips
In addition, the following pre-post steps can guard you from harmful posts and responses. They require a short time commitment, but can help you avoid long-lasting negative impact.
- Memorize 2 Timothy 2:23-26. Then quote the passage to yourself each time you’re about to post, and consider if you’re following these five rules.
- Pray before you post. Ask God if what you wrote will glorify Him in both word and tone.
- Read your post out loud. Before your post or comment goes live, read it out loud to yourself and reflect on how it will come across to others.
I confess I haven’t perfectly kept these five rules, but Paul’s admonition to Timothy often guides my posts and has caused me to delete ones that were ready to go—or to at least rewrite them so that I’m speaking the truth in love.
May these five rules help you as well!
