Last Friday I got into my 10th car wreck while driving. The picture above shows the damage. A neighbor’s Ford F150 ran into my car at a stop sign and that was that. I guess the magic number 10 makes me an expert of sorts on car wrecks. So, let me give you a crash course on the 10 things I’ve learned from being in 10 car wrecks:
1. Ice on the road is slick. I know, “Duh!” But most of my car wrecks have happened with some sort of ice and/or snow on the ground. I’m a Colorado kid after all and snow is part of the driving deal in our great and snowy state.
2. Tread on your tires is good. Bald tires lead to dented fenders. Take it from me.
3. Don’t reach for Red Vines that have fallen under your seat while you are driving. This happened to me once and, yes, I wrecked. But, let me say this, Red Vines are delicious.
4. If you happen to borrow your Father-in-law’s brand new New Yorker on a snowy day you should probably ask him first. And, yes, I wrecked it in a seven car pile up on the highway. When he asked me, “How’s your car?” I gulped and said, “It’s fine, not a scratch…I borrowed your New Yorker.” Thank the Lord he is a godly man. He just said, “Oh my.”
5. Avoiding a car wreck in front of you doesn’t mean you won’t get hit from the back. Skidding down a steep hill on black ice and bald tires (see points #1 and #2) I honked the horn on my little Plymouth Champ until the truck in front of me at the light pulled forward so I wouldn’t hit him. Then BAM!!! I got hit from behind by a Camaro! Not a good driving day (but at least it wasn’t technically my fault!)
6. When there are no stop signs in a small town the car to the right has the right of way. Being from the city I had no idea about this rural rule. While driving in Holyoke, Colorado I got T-Boned at an intersection by a girl driving 45 mph. I was grateful that I happened to be the car on the right and that my trip to the ER was quick and easy (It was just a big bump on the side of my head, not a concussion!)
7. Your wife is usually right about dangerous situations on the highway. Her, “Please don’t go on the highway. It’s too slick. There’s black ice.” Me, “We’ll be fine.” 60 minutes later the car we were driving was a crumpled mess and I got the “I told you so” look from my wife.
8. Traffic light poles don’t move when you hit them. A police officer was sitting right there as my witness.
9. If there is ice on the ground of a parking lot don’t turn in to park in a space too quickly. Wham! Bam! Sorry about your bumper man!
10. It’s not technically a hit and run if you hit them and they run. Yes, that happened. While talking to my friend Mark I failed to look at the stopped car in front of me and plowed into her bumper. I crushed it pretty good. She just waved at me and drove off. I figured she must have not had insurance and my car was totally fine. No harm. No foul. No ticket.
These are 10 things I’ve learned from being in 10 car wrecks. Anyone need a ride? I’m driving!