If all dogs go to heaven then where do all cats go?

Greg Stier
Greg Stier
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin

I bet you can guess.

Okay. So by now you have surmised that I’m a dog person. Yes, I am the kind of person that needs reassurance in the form of a “Hey I’m glad to see you” tail wag (verses a “Hey, get off my couch” cat hiss.)

Now before all you cat people extend your verbal claws at me let me explain my aversion to cats:

First of all they seem smart. Too smart. They look like they’re thinking, plotting and planning…something evil. They’re sure not strategizing on how to make the world a better place but rather how to get their owners out of the way so that they can take over the house.

Smart pets scare me. IQ should never be attached to something that licks itself clean. 

I’m convinced that the best pets are somewhat stupid (or, to be politically correct, dumb as a box of rocks.)

The second reason I don’t like cats is that they are independent. They go where they want when they want. Most cats don’t do well with the whole, “Sit. Stay. Roll over.” commands of dog-world. They’d rather curl, purr and scratch at their own leisure thank you very much. Tell a cat to “play dead” and their glare tells you to “drop dead.”

Thirdly, hair balls. Or, as I like to call them, “Cough. Cough. Ewwwww!”

Why do I like dogs? They’re mostly happy, kind of dumb (hey, take it up with “The Dumb Friends League” if you don’t like that term) and they can actually protect a house from intruders. Well, some of them can anyway.

I just bought my wife a miniature weiner dog who is a dapple (so we named him “Patches”.) We lost our first and much loved weiner dog “Shadow” six months ago so I got my wife a new mini for her birthday. Suffice it to say that all four and a half pounds of him won’t be able to do much home security (unless nibbling on an intruder’s toe nails counts!)

He’s small, cute and simpleminded. I love him.

And, for all you cat lovers out there, I’m sure you feel the same way about your four legged feline friend. Just because I don’t get it doesn’t mean it’s not real love.

Who knows? Someday maybe cat lovers and dog lovers can live together in perfect pet harmony. I mean if the lion can lay down with the lamb during the rule and reign of Christ then maybe the lab can lay down with the Siamese.

Or maybe not.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get the latest episodes, resources, and updates emailed to your inbox.