Art…Denver’s Oldest Virgin

Greg Stier
Greg Stier
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My buddy Art (yes the one that I tell stories about) won a radio contest yesterday for being Denver’s oldest virgin. I was the one who actually called him up and told him about it. I had overheard it while scanning the radio stations (a bad habit of mine) on the way home from the gym yesterday.

I heard the interview between him and Lewis and Floorwax, the two DJs of the show, on the radio. These guys, who tend to get pretty risque at times, asked Art why he was still a virgin at the age of 45. Was he saving himself for the right woman? His answer was AWESOME! He said,

“No! I’m saving myself for the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ!”

The tone of the radio show changed. You could tell these two radio jocks respected him for his boldness and sincerity. They implied that virgin men could be a little effeminate and Art shot back with “Hey, I just got back from 2 1/2 years in Iraq. I had my truck blown up by I.E.D.s twice and have had sniper rounds whiz by my head.” The tone changed again. Art may be a virgin but he is the last guy you would want to call a wimp. Like he told a guy in the army who was making fun of him for still being a virgin, “You know what’s worse than being a virgin? Getting your rear kicked by one.” Conversation over.

As the rest of the 10 minute or so radio interview unfolded Art made it clear that he looked at his body as a temple of the Holy Spirit and that, as a 45 year old virgin, he uses all of that pent up energy to serve the Lord Jesus Christ.

Maybe we should come out with a new movie called “The 45 Year Old Virgin” starring my buddy Art. We could follow him around and watch his exploits for Jesus as he shares the gospel with everything that moves. We could watch as he consecrates his life to advance the kingdom of Christ. It wouldn’t be a comedy. It would be a documentary that would rock all of our worlds.

Oh by the way he won front row tickets to The Police concert last night at Redrocks for being Denver’s oldest virgin. I can’t wait to hear about the people he told about Jesus. Who knows maybe he got to witness to Sting himself?

May God raise up an army of consecrated soldiers just like Art to advance his kingdom cause!

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